Welcome to your Life. There are no Instructions.
How to Live your Life’s Purpose.

by Karen McMullen

To live your best life there is no road-map. There is no guidebook. There are no instructions. You can’t paint by numbers and those who try to tell you where to go can’t possibly know which destination is best for you.

There are instructions, guides and maps on how to follow someone else’s path but that’s not what you want anyway. Once you decide to step into your unique life purpose, the only one who can guide you there is you.
Your challenge as an adult is that you’ve experienced years of conditioning that suggests that you don’t know what is best for you.

Instead of learning how to masterfully listen to your own inner guidance, in school you learned through a “paint by numbers” approach: “If you simply graduate, get a degree, specialize in a profession, then you will get result B: a house, car, career and a family.” According to this model, your only job is to follow the steps laid out for you, to paint in the numbered blank spaces and you will achieve the desired outcome.

For some this approach works. However, if you are reading these words, you have arrived here because there is something MORE nagging within you, a calling to express your deepest purpose. And there is no Masters program that can teach you that. There is no “How to be (insert your name)” course that will tell you what is the highest and best use of your specific talents.

Since there are no directions, maps or guidebooks, it’s no wonder that you may feel lost at sea in your life. With no one to tell us where to go, and no mastery in guiding ourselves, it makes sense that less than half of North Americans have chosen work that they enjoy or that expresses their purpose for living.

Fortunately for you, you already have all the navigational equipment that you need to guide yourself to a fulfilling, abundant and successful life path.

Your Navigation Tool #4 Follow your Bliss

Because your end goal is to enjoy your life, you can’t get there through hard-work and suffering. The old paradigm says, you need to slog your way through a, b, c, and d before you get to sit back and enjoy your life.

This is simply not the way the world works. You don’t achieve freedom and happiness, through hard-work and suffering. Suffering begets suffering. When you are caught in the feeling-place of slogging, you don’t have access to the solutions and circumstances that will align you with your best life and highest potential.

Think of it like a radio station. When you are tuned to 98.5 FM, you don’t expect to pick up the tunes on 101.3 FM. Radio frequencies don’t work that way! In the same way, if you want to live a purposeful and passionate life, you have to attune your own radio dial to the energy of purpose and passion. From the radio station of “slogging-through-another-day-at-work”, it is literally impossible for you to access the inspired ideas and circumstances that will guide you to purpose and passion.

When you decide to follow your bliss, you are well on your way to living your life’s calling. Do whatever it takes to tune your radio channel to feeling good. When you feel crappy, “following your bliss” might mean hunkering down for a night of TV and chocolate. It doesn’t matter what you do. Make one of your guiding principles, a commitment to feel good now. When you reach that good-feeling place, your calling is ready and waiting for you.

Are you a day-in day-out routine and reliable kind of person?
If so, you are likely quite comfortable with “sustaining”. The ability to sustain means that you can continue with a project, career or goal for an extended period of time without interruption.

What is the point of keeping on keeping on? When you stay the course of any project or path you create the possibility for mastery. Without the capacity to sustain something, your world would become a spring garden of sprouts with no fruit or flowers.

The question is: Are the projects/career that you sustain on a daily basis leading you to mastery in an area that sustains you? Whether or not you like it, you are becoming a master in the areas where you devote your attention over time. Are those areas rich and fulfilling to you?

Sustaining becomes a slog when you lack vision, forget to enjoy yourself and are doing the wrong things for the wrong reasons. So here are three tips to enhance your sustain-ability.

#3 Create a compelling vision.

A vision is a clear view of where you are and where you are going. A compelling vision is one that inspires you towards it! Shackleton and his crew were able to sustain themselves while stranded for a year and a half in the antarctic because Shackleton provided an unwavering vision of rescue and home. Without an enticing vision of where you are going, the mind says “what’s the point in all this effort? Bah!”

To create a compelling vision, ask yourself: “what would an exceptional scenario look like for my career?” Get a sense of the big picture. How many people would you work with? Where would you work? How would you be contributing? Draw it, write it or tell your friend about it.

#2 Include JOY.

Without the ‘good stuff’ of joy, fun and love, sustaining becomes a slog. This is not to say that their won’t be times of hard-work and perseverance. Even so, the overall balance must be tipped in the direction of enjoyment for your path to truly sustain your mind, body and spirit.

To include enjoyment in your projects make a list of instant-joy-makers. What brings you joy instantly and reliably? Now, how can you bring that into your work-day?

#1 Do the right things for the right reasons.

The most valuable asset that you have is your time. All the money in the world won’t serve you if you have no time to enjoy it. Anything that you do that takes up hours of your day needs to be important enough to you to warrant regular participation.

As a serial creator, I find it very helpful to consider two questions prior to initiating a project:

“Is this creation worthy of my time and attention over an extended period?”
“Is this creation something that I am willing to tend to and care for until it’s full fruition?”

When you choose projects/a career that compels you in the direction you want your life to go, is pleasurable and important to you, sustaining becomes natural and easy. The energy that you spend becomes sustainable because you are fueling your own fire.

Join us on the free tele-seminar, 3 secrets you need to know to Rock 2010 with your passion for life and plan a 2010 that is truly sustainable. For details go to http://tinyurl.com/y8t8pwv

To initiate is to “cause a process or action to begin.” When we initiate, we become the cause of something that wouldn’t exist otherwise.

To me, initiating and creativity are intimate partners. The best part is that initiating is a practice that can be learned! Here are a few easy steps to get you going:

1) Notice areas of your life where you tend to “go with the tides” or become passive. Example: “I keep spending my evenings in a default way. Eating dinner and then ending up exhausted on the couch.”

2) Wonder “hmmm…what do I want to create in this area of my life?” Example: “I want to feel energized and creative after work! I’d like to do some painting like I used to enjoy.”

3) Notice the next step. What is the impulse that arises naturally? What is the next logical step? Example: “I’ve been picturing a painting I want to do for weeks now. I already have a canvas and paints…so the next step is to commit to spend half an hour painting this evening.”

4) Do it!! Take the plunge. Go for it and see what happens. Remember the more you exercise your “initiate” muscle, the more your creativity will flow.

Did you try this activity?? I want to hear about it! Tell me your story and I’ll include it in the next newsletter!

Picture this: 10 people. Each kneels before a large blank paper. In everyones hand is a mop-sized paint brush oozing black ink and poised to mark the page. Creative tension presses heavily. It is the moment between the nothingness of the blank page and the somethingness of the mark.

We are at a calligraphy workshop with Master calligrapher Barbara Bash. In her instruction she quotes Shambhala teacher, Chogyam Trungpa. “There is only one thing to feel when approaching the empty canvas. Terror.”

That just about sums it up. There is something totally terrifying about the nothingness of the blank canvas. It is the unknown. Our thinking mind doesn’t know how to cope with it! “What if no ideas come? What if I screw up? I’m not creative! I have nothing to share.”

These are some ways that our mind attempts to talk us down from the ledge and keep us from taking the creative plunge! And yet, if we stay there, in the uncomfortable moment of facing the unknown, something inevitable happens.

Out of nothing, comes something that didn’t exist before. The paintbrush hits the paper. An impulse emerges. We have an idea. And that, is creativity in a nut-shell.

At best, creativity is experienced as a feeling of flow and a connection to something greater than ourselves. In creativity, there is always magic! At worst, we get stuck in the pre-creation moment of terror and never initiate for fear of screwing up.

How can we position ourselves in relation to this magic? How can we become friendly with nothing?

Many people strongly desire to express their creativity in some way. They may even envision their creations but struggle to get beyond that moment of hesitation.

The key to befriending creativity is to practice initiating. As you develop your ‘initiate’ muscle, the blank canvas becomes a more enjoyable place to linger. The inner critic and fear of messing up is replaced with a gentle curiousity. “Hmmm…I wonder what wants to happen?”

We begin to dance with the something that is latent in the nothing. We introduce ourselves to the nothingness and say, “Hello, my name is ______. And who are you?” We wait and listen.

And with every answer, with every creation, our world expands to include more than was there before. Oh, how I love creation! To the Gods of creation, I offer this prayer: “May I go forth today and initiate an expression where before, I hesitated.”

Step 1: Inventory of incompletions:

Make an inventory of everything that you have left undone in your life. Leave no stone unturned!

What significant communications have you left unsaid? (Hint: if you think of it three times or more, it is a significant communication)
What debts/or money owed are lingering?
Are there any feelings that you are avoiding?
Do you feel a sense of ease when you think of your past and current relationships? If not, what is left unsaid/undone?
What home projects/errands have been left undone?
Have you made any agreements that you haven’t kept?

Step 2: Choose a destruction style.

For each item, decide a fun and easy way to create completion. There are many different ways to destroy:
Is it a slow steady decay, a gentle letting go, a violent bashing of the baseball bat, a shedding tear or a consuming flame?

Step 3: By when?

Give yourself a realistic “by when” date for completing each task and mark it in your calendar. Eg. I will sort through my receipts and file them by Monday afternoon.

Go forth and complete!

This 5-10 minute activity will assist you in identifying areas of your life that are best dropped entirely and then, how to face your fears and come up with creative solutions.

Step 1: Inquire.

Take a full breath from the belly to chest and let go of your exhale. Do this a few times, focusing on letting your jaw and shoulders be pulled into relaxation by gravity.

Now, one by one, float these questions in your mind:

1) Hmmm…I wonder what I do on a regular basis that I find frustrating? What do I do that I don’t enjoy, that others do better than me and that drains my energy?
Write a list.
2) Of these activities, what can’t be delegated or developed (for lack of passion/love)?

Is there an activity (or several) remaining that can’t be delegated or developed? If so, consider dropping it.

Step 2: Face your fears.

It’s likeIy that there are some fears lurking in the corner as you contemplate dropping your activity. While breathing deeply and finding a resting place in your belly, bring some curious attention to your fear:

Hmmm…I wonder what fears I have about dropping ____________(using email, quitting my job, etc)?

Speak aloud, all of the fears that you have about dropping. Notice your body sensations as you speak your fears. Continue to breathe deeply. Speak your fears and breathe deeply until you feel clear of any emotional residue…meaning, you feel a sense of lightness, ease and freedom in your body.

Step 3: Get Creative.

Now that you’ve faced into your fears, there is room for creativity to step into the picture. Yahoo!! Thank goodness! With a friend or by yourself, move your hips, jaw and butt, while brainstorming creative ways that you can enjoy a life free of the activity that you are dropping. For example, in the case of Suzanna, she could ask: “I wonder how I can enjoy an email-free life?” “I wonder how I would connect with people if I wasn’t using email?”

Did you decide to drop something? We want to hear about it! Email us and share your story! karenspire@gmail.com

“How does one become a butterfly?” “You must want to fly so much you are willing to give up being a caterpillar.” (Hope for the Flowers)

For many of us, we choose to stay caterpillars until life circumstances force us out of the cuccoon. We prefer to stay within the comfort of the familiar, rather than listen to the inner nudge saying “stop doing that! Do this instead!” Fear holds us in place, keeping us from listening to that inner voice.

But our greatest fears are smuggling our magnificence. Like a treasure chest waiting to be claimed, our magnificence lurks in the darkest corners of our fearful beliefs. This is the fear that chains our brilliant genius potential to the desk of excellence and the grocery aisles of surviving.

Don’t get me wrong. Surviving is nothing to be sneezed at. Really, I owe my life to survival. Literally. We all do. So gracious good, let us be thankful for surviving this moment and the last. It’s an everyday miracle.

There is a field beyond survival, however. A field of contribution. A field of creativity. A field that longs to be tilled by your unique care and attention; the kind of care that only you, with your lifetime of experience and preferences can give. And sometimes it happens that those choices we make on a daily basis of how to spend our time and energy are keeping us from tilling the fields of our potential, leaving them fallow.

Recently, a client was developing vision problems from using her computer. She went to the optometrist and bought special UV protecting lenses to wear while checking her email. Upon investigation, she confessed that she “hated” using the computer and wished that her life didn’t require so much time on the internet.

When I suggested that she DROP her internet use, she was simultaneously relieved and scared! Her fearful belief was that the ONLY way for her to be successful was to use the internet. We began to explore ways that she could diminish/eliminate the internet in her life. She continues to email, but writes short and sweet notes, and lets people know that in general, she prefers to be contacted by phone.

In my case, I juggled a retail job for eight months this year as I established my coaching business in Vancouver. Even though I was spending much of my time in my competence and incompetence zones, in many ways my foray in retail served me very well. I enhanced my wardrobe, built an amazing network and paid the bills! But eventually, my inner voice was clearly indicating that it was time to move on. And even though DROP was the next step, my fear was strong!

Beyond my fear of survival, was a deeper fear. I was actually afraid of having lots of time and space on my hands. If I wasn’t buzzing around juggling a full-time job, relationship and my own business, what would I do with myself? My fear was also a reflection of my relationship with myself and the void of the unknown. Ironically, the moment that I embraced this wide-open space and step into with willingness, my business began to grow with a life of it’s own!

What are you currently devoting your precious energy and time to that are in your zones of excellence, competence or incompetence? What can’t be delegated (I couldn’t delegate my retail job to someone else without quitting!)? What could you not possibly develop for lack of love (truly developing something into an area of genius takes love)? How are you keeping yourself a caterpillar?

It’s time for you to take the opportunity to face your fears about dropping and look at how you might do so. The moment that you decide to make a change, the universe will rearrange itself to accommodate your new wings.